Have One Vice
‘Have One Vice’ is a chapter from my book, “Looking at Forty: A Most Meaningful Year”
I drank whiskey today. More accurately, I am currently drinking whiskey. It is not a Scotch or even a semi-fancy whiskey, but it is good. I chose to drink whiskey instead of being physically productive. This can be a struggle for me considering my affinity for production. I am not sure if I drank it to actually enjoy the whiskey or as a symbol of escape. I do not mean escape in the sense of using substances to escape everyday life and reality, because that can become a problematic situation and I advise against it. I’m talking about an escape from the norm. Maybe drinking the whiskey is me rebelling from something greater. Yes, I am drinking alone at the house—again, this is out of the norm. I purposely did this today to break up the routine, not to escape life.
My best friend and I have this ridiculous saying: “All the greats.” The saying is a hyperbolic one in reference to our belief that “all” creative and interesting people often partake in a cocktail or three. Some even a little too often. It is ridiculous because it is untrue, but it is something we want to believe deep down in our 39-year-old hearts, considering we both enjoy the regular sip and everything that comes along with it. The saying gives us license to enjoy a drink and feel OK about it. Maybe we think it will increase our ability to churn out whatever creative thoughts are trapped brewing in our minds. Maybe if I continue on the whiskey, this book will start to sound more like a product of one Mr. Hemingway. Most of us include him on our loose list of partaking greats. Take a minute and consider the long list of creative masterminds and historically interesting artists. Think about their shared habits. Having a couple of beverages on the regular seems to run in the club. Probably a coincidence, but who knows.
Today’s act could, and likely does, display a longing to be one of those creative and interesting people. To be the type of person who hangs around somewhere between infamy and adoration. The sweet spot. If “all the greats” did it and were great, perhaps I too can be great by joining in on the not-so-subtle secret. Conceivably, when I partake, I could be ever-so-slightly more interesting to others, which is always a good thing. I cannot think of a time where it is good to be less interesting. The aforementioned Mr. Hemingway said, “I drink to make others more interesting.” If this was his true thought, I just claimed the opposite. I might be drinking to make myself more interesting to others—in today’s case, to you, the reader. Perhaps Mr. Hemingway was justifying his drink, or maybe he thought the opposite but was too stubborn to admit as much to his audience.
Am I drinking the whiskey today because of jealousy or envy? Is my life not creative and interesting enough at 39? These thoughts skirt the border of sounding like I am drinking for all the wrong reasons. I can ensure you that is not the case, as today is more of a one-off for me than the usual. As mentioned, I am using this whiskey as a symbol, at least in my mind. The difficulty is determining exactly what it is a symbol of. The more I think about it—the what and the why—the more interesting this internal question becomes. (The more whiskey I sip could also have something to do with this.) I wonder what this glass in my hand represents in the grand scheme of life. I wonder who the modern-day “greats” are. They seem much different from “all the greats” of the past, but only time will tell. That is not necessarily a bad thing, the differences. I wonder what being great is in the first place. Who determines that? What determines that?
I would have never considered this glass of whiskey to be anything meaningful in my younger years, or even in my very recent years. It’s funny and sometimes strange what is interesting to you when approaching 40. It is a curious thing as to what is on your mind when you think about why it is there. For the first time, with 40 over my shoulder, I feel like it is something significant. I feel like everything has meaning and significance these days. I have a sudden desire to find what those things are and express them to others, another thing that was foreign to me until very recently. Hell, maybe I should take on the burden of trying to be a modern-day “great.” Maybe I should push my levels of creativity as far as I can. Maybe I could be one of the more interesting people out there. Or maybe—and likely—I am just enjoying a drink and writing a chapter in what I hope turns out to be a decent book about the approach of 40. Cheers.
-Houston Bailey (@BumpBailey)