Sacred Grounds
I bought fancy coffee today. Yes, yet another insignificant event from which I gleaned importance as year number 40 approaches. This was indeed an event because I usually buy the exact same coffee every time I go to the local grocery store. The brand I buy is good (to me), not great. It is cheap but not the cheapest. I rarely buy coffee while out and about, and I will not be a “regular” in any coffee shops any time soon. What this adds up to is that I hardly ever get the enjoyment of a high-quality coffee. More importantly, that means neither does my wife, even though she prefers a better coffee to my preferred brand. Even writing that out makes me realize how selfish I have been in the coffee department.
Don’t be fooled—that is an important department. I begin to wonder if that bleeds over into other facets of life and relationship. See there, how I made it important? I made the fancy coffee this morning and am drinking it right now. I can honestly tell the difference, which is something I did not expect. Although I knew it was a possibility, it is still surprising. I am not going to completely switch my coffee buying habits, but that option is on the table—literally. My wife also seems happy with this purchase, which makes me happy in return. I have to start figuring out if it is correlation or causation between the price of the coffee and the happiness of my wife while drinking said coffee. I am sure there is some upper limit to the coffee happiness factor when it comes to price, but it could take some experimentation to solve. I also wonder if I tell a fib about the price of our next coffee choice and see if there is any affect there. Would that be a white lie? We can use that white lie as our creamer. Yes, that was bad, I am aware, but I also thought it was worth the attempt. Plus, I don’t use creamer because I am a 39-year-old man, so the joke is on you.
When I was 30, I did not drink coffee. This would not have been a chapter if my book was about turning 30. I viewed coffee as an older person’s drink and refused to admit that I was rapidly approaching that category of person. I also did not truly appreciate the taste of coffee and the culture surrounding it (which I am still working on). I also did not have anything close to a wife at 30. The fact that someone else might care about what type of beverage I purchased would not have entered the conversation, much less crossed my mind. I would have bought the cheapest form of coffee known to man. All that would have mattered is if that alluring drug known as caffeine came in significantly high quantities. Taste? Would not have cared. Aftertaste? Would have cared even less. I would have been greedy and selfish. I would not have cared at all about sharing with others or their thoughts surrounding this topic.
At 39, my mindset on all these coffee-related items has changed. I feel guilty from basically forcing my wife to drink bad coffee for a couple of years now. Sure she could have said something. Sure she could have purchased her own coffee if she so desired. At 39, that is not the point of this chapter. I should have done a better job at this coffee-buying thing because it is not a small thing at this stage in life. It means more at 39. I also have finally agreed on a less important topic—that it is OK to splurge a little bit. If we have the means to do so, it is OK to pay a little more for things. Especially on things that make those around us happier. Sometimes you have to take enjoyment and pleasure wherever you can find it in life. Sometimes that place is coffee. If spending an extra dollar or two every now and then leads to even a tiny spike in enjoyment for loved ones, my 39-year-old self says it is worth it. We should do it every time.
That is quite the lesson to learn in one morning and with something as simple as buying better coffee. One of the most enjoyable things for me, at 39, is to see my wife happy. If life gives us such a simple opportunity to make others happy, we should jump at it immediately. A lot of times we think that it takes big efforts to make others’ lives better—bigger house, better school, larger social circle. But there are opportunities to make this happen every single day. They come in all shapes and sizes, and a lot of them are free of charge. Some we pass by every day without even considering them. This coffee buying thing is one simple example of this. We need to seek those chances out as often as we can. We need to be ready to seize the opportunity when it shows itself. Things that seem so small to us are not necessarily seen in the same light by others. I am not sure if my wife even notices the impact that a slightly better coffee has had on her morning, but I do. That cup of coffee is another small building block that contributes to the foundation of a happy and enjoyable life. I now realize the impact that these simple pleasures have on a loved one. I should also note the impact on myself while I’m at it. We’ll all be slightly better off with a little more enjoyment in our lives. That enjoyment is all around us, just look. Smell it, taste it. Drink it in.