Relax
Relax
I took my time today. I was in no rush, and I didn’t plan any specific actions or timelines. I woke up and had my coffee, started some projects without a true plan, and followed that path the entire day. I have to tell you, it is a good feeling. I feel relaxed. I feel happy. I feel accomplished. It’s ironic how much I can accomplish when I don’t have a looming timeline hanging over my head, like an axe ready to descend from the sky at any second. For some unknown reason, we continually put ourselves into a rush. Our minds and bodies are rushed and not functioning at full capacity. We introduce, over and over, self-imposed stress. I have yet to hear one good explanation as to why we do this to ourselves. Perhaps we see everyone else rushing around, being busy, and believe we should be doing the same thing.
I am by no means immune to this. I rush, a lot. I set deadlines and timelines on things I should not. I do it all the time, but today I didn’t. Today I did not give in to the manmade temptation of forcing myself to do things that had no need of getting done. I did the things that mattered to me, and I did them when I wanted to. I have an obsession with time and what it means, so much so that I would consider a love-hate relationship. I love always being on time. I love (and expect) others to be on time. I love scheduling my day by the hours on the clock. I hate the overall feeling of time, however. I hate sitting in my kitchen having coffee at 6:00 a.m. knowing I have a 9:00 a.m. meeting. It’s that all-to-familiar feeling of something looming. I hate it, and I want to rid the world of it.
But today I have no timeline, and I feel free, as we all should. Today’s feeling of freedom correlates with a feeling of accomplishment. That is no coincidence. My soul feels as if it is smiling. These are benefits that we rarely take the time to enjoy, much less understand their importance. We are too busy rushing to notice. My mind was freer today than it has been in quite some time. That freedom allowed my mind to more easily focus, without the distraction of feeling rushed. I am not trying to finish this chapter before that 9:00 a.m. meeting. I have all day. My shoulders are lax and loose, but not too lax—let’s not get carried away! Today’s feeling and success will likely bleed over into tomorrow. I would like to say that this could start a streak, but Monday will be here before you know it, and that will provide a challenge. But, I will put that out of my mind for now.
Where this paragraph would typically follow my template of comparing my younger self with myself at 39, this one is different. A lot of things in this book are things that I have gotten better at over time. But time, itself, is not one of those things. At 28, I took it seriously easy on weekends. I didn’t feel bound by the laundry or the groceries or mowing the yard or the Monday ahead. I am sure that there were many days in my 20s where if you asked me what time it was, I wouldn’t know. And I wouldn’t care. I was better at taking my time at 28 than I am now, no question. That luxury has passed me by, and I am uncertain if it will ever return. I am significantly more rushed now, and the scheduling of events and responsibilities seems to be always snowballing.
What has changed is my clear realization that I do not want the rushed, pressed, or looming feeling in my life for much longer. I want today to be the norm, so normal that it would not merit a chapter in a book. Another benefit of my attitude will no doubt be my relationships with those around me. When I see my wife this evening, I will be calm and happy. She will undoubtedly recognize this and hopefully take some of that feeling for herself, even if only subconsciously. There will be no stress when I call my family members later—whenever I get around to it. I will talk freely and openly and not feel rushed to hang up and go do something else. I will not check to see how long the conversations have lasted. They will feel loved, my family. I think you get the point.
My goal is to allow today to carry over into other days to whatever extent possible. Even at work, I do not want to think about what time I need to leave to beat traffic. I do not want to care what time a certain sporting event starts or what time is the best for dinner. I want those things to be more natural and work themselves out without needing to stress about them. I want the feeling of calm and accomplishment to spill over. I do not want to think of the things I have yet to accomplish, but how much I have already done. I want to make more of the decisions that impact me and my time, and not give others the opportunity to do so. I understand that you cannot make this happen 100% of the time, but I would like to increase whatever my current percentage happens to be. The feeling I have today is my goal.
We need to slow down, or at least not make ourselves feel rushed by fictitious time-bound deadlines. Slowing down today actually sped me up as far as production goes. A little concentration goes a long way. I used to get irritated at how certain family members seemed to have no rhyme or reason in regards to their schedule, where a trip to the grocery store could somehow take two hours. Now I almost crave that freedom. Not the actual freedom—which I do as well—but the mindset it takes to let that happen. Taking your time is perhaps the most underrated pleasure in the world. I dare you to name a better or more beneficial one. And make no mistake about it—it is most certainly a pleasure. Don’t let the modern-day expectations of time take it away from you. Fight with everything you have. Find a hobby—or a job—that has fewer timelines and scheduled meetings. Maybe become a writer, a photographer, or some other form of creative outlet. Do the opposite of what we often hear, and let time get away from you.
-Houston Bailey (@BumpBailey)