Holding On

I have a strange habit. 

Sometimes I buy things and then do not use them, instead allowing them to sit and collect dust. I rarely purchase things, but many times when I do, I do not want that thing to go away. I’ll give you an example. My wife and I travelled to New Zealand back in April of 2018 (it is currently March 2020). While there, I bought a bottle of Havana Club rum- the real kind, from Cuba. This is something you hear about in the US, but you can’t actually purchase due to our relationship with the island nation.

This was not a big bottle, just a quick and easy 700 ml (which I found interesting as compared to the “normal” 750 ml). Within that first year I made a few cocktails with this rum. I even shared a little with a visiting friend who had also long wanted to taste this elusive beverage. But then, the bottle got down to about one-third full. That is when the use of this liquor ceased. It is a weird thing, me not wanting this rum to be gone. Why? I bought it to drink it, but I do not want it to leave. I want it to sit on our bar, seemingly so I can just look at it and feel good about owning it. 

I do this with many other things as well. If I have a favorite shirt, I never wear it due to fear of wearing it out- I have shirts that I love, hanging in my closet, tags still attached, a symbol of stubbornness. Same goes with a couple of hats I own. I also have favorite pens, and I do not like to actually use them. To see that ink disappear would be a terrible experience. This list could go on, but you get the point.

I can’t quite put my finger on why I do this. Does it have to do with holding on to something, whether it be to the past or the experience of purchasing these items? If I am somewhat certain I will do this, why do I buy these things in the first place, knowing they will not be used for their intended purposes? Why am I scared of having to throw away a pen, or a shirt, or an empty bottle of Cuban rum? Strange. I am sure other people do this as well, but I do it all the time.

There has to be something to this, so I will think on it and perhaps follow up. I find this curious yet interesting and wanted to get this out there. If you have thoughts on my strange habit, let me know what you think is going on in my mind. Also, let me know if you do this and what items you do it with. Perhaps we are all strange.

-Houston Bailey (@BumpBailey)